About 20 years ago, during my early years in practice, I realised through my patient the satisfaction we get when we are given a listening ear.
This patient of mine felt his story was going to bore me. Frightened by this notion, he repeatedly stumbled on his words as he tried to narrate his experience to me. But I really wanted to hear his story, so I gave him the assurance he needed. He looked almost shocked and pleasantly surprised when I told him I was eager to hear his story. And he muttered under his breath with a sigh of relief.
“Nobody has ever said that to me before”.
I find it rather inhuman to deny anyone, in any field/category the ability to express themselves.
In one of my random searches online, I came across a story of a man who was astonished by the level of attentiveness he received from the world’s renowned neurologist Sigmund Freud. He describes it thus: It struck me so forcibly that I shall never forget him. He had qualities which I had never seen in any other man.
Never had I seen such concentrated attention. There was none of the piercing “soul penetrating gaze” business. His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said, even when I said it badly, was extraordinary. “You’ve no idea what it meant to be listened to like that”… he said.
Listening to people express their opinions or concerns does not just make the person being listened, to feel good, rather it opens our minds ( the listener) to different ideas, opportunities, solutions and understanding.
Listening is one of the most powerful types of communication mechanisms that there are.
In my book, Think, Communicate, Heal. I explore the psychology behind effective listening. The art of listening does not ordinarily come to us as a way of life. It is a harnessed skill. To listen effectively to someone, we must first learn how to listen to ourselves. Listening starts from within before we can apply it in our conversations with others.
To listen, we must learn how to calm our internal system. We must learn how to calm our minds. This is one of the most powerful gifts of effective communication. And it is my prayer for you that you show this gift to someone this weekend.
Who would that be?
